walk with me
seems logical
are you ok
no kidding, really
red on black becomes white
frigging look at me already
the fire consumes the fuel
do you need help
swords are drawn
yes i have
the game has begun
what do i do
the arbiter arrives
who am i
run to the finish line
procrastination pays off now
the sheath is thrown
ignorance is hideous
rest on my shoulder
glances become stares
blue and orange make brown
now do you understand
depression throws a fast ball
throw rationality to the wind
let me rest
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
circular thinking
So here was me yesterday: "Sigh. Another late night. Only four hours of sleep. I hate papers. Lots of sleep deprivation. Much dead brain to pass around circle. Plenty for everyone. No need to rush." This meant no ability to post (again). Oh well.
So what I had in mind to post yesterday, that is, before I realized I was mentally incapable, was something of the sort: I had a paper due yesterday for my World Religions class. Not too terribly long of a paper, being only 4-5 pages long. The only problem was that I hadn't really looked at the paper topic since I had gotten it about two weeks earlier. No worries, right? Well, not if I had gotten home at a decent time.
Wednesday evenings usually amount to something on the order of "do lots of stuff" and "get nothing done." That is to say, I do millions of extracurriculars and do none of my stuff, personal or academic. Only problem was, I had to do a paper. So after class, I tutored a girl in geometry, wolfed down a dinner in 4 minutes, rushed to church, practiced for Sunday worship, sang in choir, then got home. At about 10. Which meant I had to figure out what I had to write on before I could even get started.
It was a paper taking two religions (I chose Mahayana Buddhism and Confucianism) and comparing their ideal humans (the bodhisattva and the gentleman, respectively). Interesting comparison in some ways; only problem was that it wasn't nearly as exciting as it might have been a week earlier. Or even a day earlier.
I managed to write a five-page paper before hitting the sack, though I can't speak to the coherence of it. Bedtime was 2:30am, which, all things considered, really wasn't too bad. It's just that I was getting up four hours later. That on top of lots of late nights thanks to midterms adds up to a pretty dead me. Have to say goodbye to those brain cells, anyway.
So what I had in mind to post yesterday, that is, before I realized I was mentally incapable, was something of the sort: I had a paper due yesterday for my World Religions class. Not too terribly long of a paper, being only 4-5 pages long. The only problem was that I hadn't really looked at the paper topic since I had gotten it about two weeks earlier. No worries, right? Well, not if I had gotten home at a decent time.
Wednesday evenings usually amount to something on the order of "do lots of stuff" and "get nothing done." That is to say, I do millions of extracurriculars and do none of my stuff, personal or academic. Only problem was, I had to do a paper. So after class, I tutored a girl in geometry, wolfed down a dinner in 4 minutes, rushed to church, practiced for Sunday worship, sang in choir, then got home. At about 10. Which meant I had to figure out what I had to write on before I could even get started.
It was a paper taking two religions (I chose Mahayana Buddhism and Confucianism) and comparing their ideal humans (the bodhisattva and the gentleman, respectively). Interesting comparison in some ways; only problem was that it wasn't nearly as exciting as it might have been a week earlier. Or even a day earlier.
I managed to write a five-page paper before hitting the sack, though I can't speak to the coherence of it. Bedtime was 2:30am, which, all things considered, really wasn't too bad. It's just that I was getting up four hours later. That on top of lots of late nights thanks to midterms adds up to a pretty dead me. Have to say goodbye to those brain cells, anyway.
Monday, October 09, 2006
the poet naps
the bird sings
the pecker taps
the sloth lazes
the novice scribbles
the sleeper yawns
the beholder eyes
the doctor examines
the painter strokes
the ants march
the light dims
the magus coughs
the gazer blinks
the deer pants
the water rises
the board bends
the watcher sleeps
the fire smolders
the straw falls
the back breaks
the shield splinters
the eye droops
the hour finishes
the morning dawns
the sun rises
the time comes
the middleman approaches
the news arrives
the general leads
the army charges
the metal clashes
the tide turns
the battle ends
the weary rests
the pecker taps
the sloth lazes
the novice scribbles
the sleeper yawns
the beholder eyes
the doctor examines
the painter strokes
the ants march
the light dims
the magus coughs
the gazer blinks
the deer pants
the water rises
the board bends
the watcher sleeps
the fire smolders
the straw falls
the back breaks
the shield splinters
the eye droops
the hour finishes
the morning dawns
the sun rises
the time comes
the middleman approaches
the news arrives
the general leads
the army charges
the metal clashes
the tide turns
the battle ends
the weary rests
Sunday, October 08, 2006
painting the study
Current status: study study study study study
Actual current status: procrastinating
Two midterms tomorrow => late night studying => lots of caffeine and drowsy me tomorrow. Therefore, I get two As. Wait no...
I've got a math midterm, for which I pretty much have no clue how to study for because it's not like a regular high school math class full of lots of plug-n-chug. Hopefully that'll clear up by tonight. I've also got a midterm in my East Asian Literature class, for which I do have a good idea in terms of studying methods -- I just don't feel like it. After frying my brain reading nearly 250 pages last night, I don't really feel up to more on the same subject.
Studying's also what I should have been doing yesterday afternoon. No, instead I was out in the middle of the woods firing paintballs. Yeah, after a morning of earning $50 tutoring geometry, I went out to blow half of it. By the time I got out there, it was coming to 2:00, meaning I was about four hours late and had missed six rounds. On the plus side, I missed the long "these are the rules obey them or die" talk, not to mention arriving when the food was being served.
Now, I won't pretend to be good; my aim's meh and I'm slow tactics-wise, not to mention ultra-defensive. I will boast, though, that I took out four out of eight people on the first round though, including my youth leader (which made every penny worth it). It was in a forested type of area, rather than with bunkers; real Vietnam type stuff, minus the tropical environment. This really didn't help the situation, considering I was just getting back into the swing of things. But yeah, four people; it was mostly my position that gave me the shots rather than other people on my team, but hey, I still shot em.
I also only died once, which made me happy (and it was actually a mistake, which made me annoyed). My sister kept on telling me about how it was my ninja/you-don't-see-me skills at work. Even out in the common area people were having trouble finding me; that's always an interesting phenomenon. Or how I'm able to walk in and out of rooms without people noticing me. Or how I can be in a room and unintentionally surprise people who walk in and don't notice me for a few minutes. Or how I can be in a crowd of caucasians and nobody will seem to notice me the Asian, which can be really disconcerting.
What's more astonishing is the amount of time that I've spent writing this rather than studying. Oops. So about those midterms...
Actual current status: procrastinating
Two midterms tomorrow => late night studying => lots of caffeine and drowsy me tomorrow. Therefore, I get two As. Wait no...
I've got a math midterm, for which I pretty much have no clue how to study for because it's not like a regular high school math class full of lots of plug-n-chug. Hopefully that'll clear up by tonight. I've also got a midterm in my East Asian Literature class, for which I do have a good idea in terms of studying methods -- I just don't feel like it. After frying my brain reading nearly 250 pages last night, I don't really feel up to more on the same subject.
Studying's also what I should have been doing yesterday afternoon. No, instead I was out in the middle of the woods firing paintballs. Yeah, after a morning of earning $50 tutoring geometry, I went out to blow half of it. By the time I got out there, it was coming to 2:00, meaning I was about four hours late and had missed six rounds. On the plus side, I missed the long "these are the rules obey them or die" talk, not to mention arriving when the food was being served.
Now, I won't pretend to be good; my aim's meh and I'm slow tactics-wise, not to mention ultra-defensive. I will boast, though, that I took out four out of eight people on the first round though, including my youth leader (which made every penny worth it). It was in a forested type of area, rather than with bunkers; real Vietnam type stuff, minus the tropical environment. This really didn't help the situation, considering I was just getting back into the swing of things. But yeah, four people; it was mostly my position that gave me the shots rather than other people on my team, but hey, I still shot em.
I also only died once, which made me happy (and it was actually a mistake, which made me annoyed). My sister kept on telling me about how it was my ninja/you-don't-see-me skills at work. Even out in the common area people were having trouble finding me; that's always an interesting phenomenon. Or how I'm able to walk in and out of rooms without people noticing me. Or how I can be in a room and unintentionally surprise people who walk in and don't notice me for a few minutes. Or how I can be in a crowd of caucasians and nobody will seem to notice me the Asian, which can be really disconcerting.
What's more astonishing is the amount of time that I've spent writing this rather than studying. Oops. So about those midterms...
Friday, October 06, 2006
going home
(It’s good to be admin and allow double posting ^_^) Today being Friday, I usually go to InterVarsity’s large group worship at The Loft. Now, I usually hang out at my church before going; my church hosts English Classes for internationals on eleven Fridays every fall and spring semesters. However, before I can leave, I have to help out with administrative tasks, help sort out problems -- the whole shebang. More importantly, though, I have to wait for my dad to get back from picking people up. This is not normally a problem since classes start at 6:30, I leave at 7:10-ish so I can be early for the 7:30 session.
This was a problem today, however, for two reasons. One was that large group was meeting at 7:00, so I needed to leave by 6:40 the latest. Also, since tomorrow is homecoming, today was the homecoming parade, i.e. traffic was really bad. So not only did my dad not get back till maybe 7:05, I didn’t get there till maybe 7:20. I won’t say I didn’t miss much (‘cause I really don’t know) but it’s not like I could do anything about it.
On a more positive note, tonight is the kickoff of a 24-hour prayer. That is, at The Loft, there’s going to be groups of people praying for 24 hours. I’ll admit that I can’t make it; the group I’d be praying with has the 1-2am slot, which means I’d have to drive home at 2am, which I’m not too keen on. I’ll be praying at home though; it’s not quite the same, but at least I’ll be safe (in God, too).
Now, our group is just one of the many across the nation that are praying; they’ll be praying throughout the week. So, jump right in, grab a friend, pick a time -- pray with us. Pray for those in need, whether it be physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. For those being persecuted. For courage and boldness to make Christ known to all the nations, to the ends of the world -- to the people around you. About the troubles in your life, your family’s, your friends’, that God would have his hand in those situations. For our nation, our political leaders. For anything and everything.
Pray.
This was a problem today, however, for two reasons. One was that large group was meeting at 7:00, so I needed to leave by 6:40 the latest. Also, since tomorrow is homecoming, today was the homecoming parade, i.e. traffic was really bad. So not only did my dad not get back till maybe 7:05, I didn’t get there till maybe 7:20. I won’t say I didn’t miss much (‘cause I really don’t know) but it’s not like I could do anything about it.
On a more positive note, tonight is the kickoff of a 24-hour prayer. That is, at The Loft, there’s going to be groups of people praying for 24 hours. I’ll admit that I can’t make it; the group I’d be praying with has the 1-2am slot, which means I’d have to drive home at 2am, which I’m not too keen on. I’ll be praying at home though; it’s not quite the same, but at least I’ll be safe (in God, too).
Now, our group is just one of the many across the nation that are praying; they’ll be praying throughout the week. So, jump right in, grab a friend, pick a time -- pray with us. Pray for those in need, whether it be physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually. For those being persecuted. For courage and boldness to make Christ known to all the nations, to the ends of the world -- to the people around you. About the troubles in your life, your family’s, your friends’, that God would have his hand in those situations. For our nation, our political leaders. For anything and everything.
Pray.
examining touhou
Sorry about not posting for a few days. Life's been simultaneously busy (even though I am sitting here in the Moonstruck Café writing this) and not felt terribly newsworthy. Had my CS midterm last night. When I was studying for it, I was actually pretty scared about it. The prof had posted a number of old exams on the site, and I hadn't been doing too well on those -- the multiple choice were fairly tricky, having choices that were just almost right but not quite. Rather nasty actually.
So as you might expect, I was kinda nervous going in. I wasn't alone; a number of guys were advising the rest of us to not kill the curve. Not too bad after all, though, it turns out. I left the two-hour exam an hour early after triple-checking everything, so not too bad. I suppose there's something to say for pressure-induced adrenaline. Not to mention killing the curve (I hope).
Speaking of nerve-racking pressure, my sister found an video of pure insanity on youtube. It's of a 2d asteroids-type shooter. Now, before you all skip the rest of this paragraph, let me say that this game should impress anybody (well, should at least). It just absolutely baffles me -- not that I'm necessarily the know-it-all when it comes to these, but this is just over my head. Words cannot describe the craziness; you just gotta watch it, or at least the first couple minutes. It feels somewhat on par with Halo on Legendary, though I suppose that's up for debate.
What wasn't beyond me was the music, though. Now, as nerdy as this sounds (I've stopped caring anyway, being a CS major and all), I really liked the music. Despite its not so good quality and semi-tinny-ness, it was really good compositionally. It fit the mood so perfectly and had life to it. Well, sorta. In any case, I got really interested in it. It's in this music genre called zun, I gather. Never heard of it before this, but it sounds good. I get the feeling that it's similar to trance; that is, people who don't like it say that it's all the same -- but hey, I ain’t in that bunch.
So aside from investing in a bit of new music, I found this piano arrangement of one of the tunes (actually three, but I think they're all basically arrangements of the same thing) called "Voyage into a cage...." So, as an avid piano player myself, I've decided to tackle it via some 18 pages of sheet music that I found. Slowly. And very carefully. Btw, if you're more of a visual person, here's a video of it, though I'm not sure whether this is the composer or not; even though some of his technique is a tad questionable, it kinda helps to see this guy's fingers fly rather than just imagine them in your head. Let's just hope my fingers don't fall off in the process.
So as you might expect, I was kinda nervous going in. I wasn't alone; a number of guys were advising the rest of us to not kill the curve. Not too bad after all, though, it turns out. I left the two-hour exam an hour early after triple-checking everything, so not too bad. I suppose there's something to say for pressure-induced adrenaline. Not to mention killing the curve (I hope).
Speaking of nerve-racking pressure, my sister found an video of pure insanity on youtube. It's of a 2d asteroids-type shooter. Now, before you all skip the rest of this paragraph, let me say that this game should impress anybody (well, should at least). It just absolutely baffles me -- not that I'm necessarily the know-it-all when it comes to these, but this is just over my head. Words cannot describe the craziness; you just gotta watch it, or at least the first couple minutes. It feels somewhat on par with Halo on Legendary, though I suppose that's up for debate.
What wasn't beyond me was the music, though. Now, as nerdy as this sounds (I've stopped caring anyway, being a CS major and all), I really liked the music. Despite its not so good quality and semi-tinny-ness, it was really good compositionally. It fit the mood so perfectly and had life to it. Well, sorta. In any case, I got really interested in it. It's in this music genre called zun, I gather. Never heard of it before this, but it sounds good. I get the feeling that it's similar to trance; that is, people who don't like it say that it's all the same -- but hey, I ain’t in that bunch.
So aside from investing in a bit of new music, I found this piano arrangement of one of the tunes (actually three, but I think they're all basically arrangements of the same thing) called "Voyage into a cage...." So, as an avid piano player myself, I've decided to tackle it via some 18 pages of sheet music that I found. Slowly. And very carefully. Btw, if you're more of a visual person, here's a video of it, though I'm not sure whether this is the composer or not; even though some of his technique is a tad questionable, it kinda helps to see this guy's fingers fly rather than just imagine them in your head. Let's just hope my fingers don't fall off in the process.
Monday, October 02, 2006
old becomes new
This weekend, I went on InterVarsity's New Student Retreat. We went out to a retreat center outside Manville, IL. (Incidentally, because of this, I missed going to Turkey Run, IN -- it was definitely worth every moment, though; my mom said that instead of running with the turkeys, I decided to become a man. I wish.) The drive took a rather (somewhat thankfully) uneventful one and a half hours to get down (up?) to Manville Nazerene Camp; we were 30 minutes late, but thankfully they didn't start till a short time after we arrived. This is not true of all the groups, mind you; there were a number of groups that got majorly lost along the way, but I think they all arrived safely, so that was good.
So my weekend was filled with lots of, well, a whole lotta stuff. First and foremost, because it was a retreat, was worship and bible study. Really great times of being able to give praise to God, delve into the Bible, and listen to what He had to say. We sung many different praise choruses, several of which I hadn't heard before, one of which we actually sung in parts, and a couple that were in Spanish; note that I know essentially zero Spanish, and yet they were some of the coolest songs because we knew that they were still about God's glory and awesomeness (partially thanks to translations).
Coming out of this retreat, I can safely say that my relationship with Jesus Christ is a tighter, closer one now. In Him have I been re-energized; renewed in God's holy Son, I know there's nothing in His strength that I cannot face. Going out with a transparent soul that leaves nothing hidden, with boldness and courage to face hard times, hard situations, and hard questions -- I give the glory to God.
Back at the retreat, we also had plenty of free time, in which we socialized, played games, the whole shebang. Playing ultimate frisbee, I once again realized just how out of shape I am; I hope to change that, though right now I don't have a good regiment planned atm. I abstained from the 6-handed eucker, though their enthusiasm for it was quite impressive. I did, on the other hand, learned of a new type of chess: Super King. White is given all the regular pieces, whereas Black is restricted to three pawns and a super king -- a king that can move up to two squares in a turn. This has amazing possibilities, such as taking guarded pieces (landing out of check) and even checkmating white with only the king (b/c can move two spaces). Very bizarre and mind-boggling.
We also had a time of frolicking. That is to say, we danced and skipped and spun around on a field for like 15 minutes. Quite refreshing actually; I recommend it as a stress reliever, assuming you don't mind your neighbors giving you funny looks.
Been my best weekend in an eternity. Wouldn't give it up for anything. Well, maybe two retreats.
So my weekend was filled with lots of, well, a whole lotta stuff. First and foremost, because it was a retreat, was worship and bible study. Really great times of being able to give praise to God, delve into the Bible, and listen to what He had to say. We sung many different praise choruses, several of which I hadn't heard before, one of which we actually sung in parts, and a couple that were in Spanish; note that I know essentially zero Spanish, and yet they were some of the coolest songs because we knew that they were still about God's glory and awesomeness (partially thanks to translations).
Coming out of this retreat, I can safely say that my relationship with Jesus Christ is a tighter, closer one now. In Him have I been re-energized; renewed in God's holy Son, I know there's nothing in His strength that I cannot face. Going out with a transparent soul that leaves nothing hidden, with boldness and courage to face hard times, hard situations, and hard questions -- I give the glory to God.
Back at the retreat, we also had plenty of free time, in which we socialized, played games, the whole shebang. Playing ultimate frisbee, I once again realized just how out of shape I am; I hope to change that, though right now I don't have a good regiment planned atm. I abstained from the 6-handed eucker, though their enthusiasm for it was quite impressive. I did, on the other hand, learned of a new type of chess: Super King. White is given all the regular pieces, whereas Black is restricted to three pawns and a super king -- a king that can move up to two squares in a turn. This has amazing possibilities, such as taking guarded pieces (landing out of check) and even checkmating white with only the king (b/c can move two spaces). Very bizarre and mind-boggling.
We also had a time of frolicking. That is to say, we danced and skipped and spun around on a field for like 15 minutes. Quite refreshing actually; I recommend it as a stress reliever, assuming you don't mind your neighbors giving you funny looks.
Been my best weekend in an eternity. Wouldn't give it up for anything. Well, maybe two retreats.
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